Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
