i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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