Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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