I accidentally had phone sex last night
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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