i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize