Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
