why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
