Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
