I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
