Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
