gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
