She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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