and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
