Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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