i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
