this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
