he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
