Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
God I need to hump something, right now.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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