either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
