If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
