I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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