im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
