so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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