Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
