I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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