Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
she looked like the before picture.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
