Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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