My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
