Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
