I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Randomize
