She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
