The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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