hotel room ftw
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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