i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
