im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
