it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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