it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
