I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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