Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
