i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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