it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
