Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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