So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
