is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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