jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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