yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
