he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
