In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
