I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
