she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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