oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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