Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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