i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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