I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Porn is love you can see.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize