How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
the day after is always just damage control
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
