I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
